Rick and Morty Season 4 Episode 1 Spec
by palioc33
Summary: Having rekindled their relationship, Jerry and Beth take summer on a family trip to the museum, while Rick sets out to show Morty the real Galileo.


RICK AND MORTY

(SEASON 4, EPISODE 1 SPEC)

"THE FAULT IN OUR RICKS"

by

Corey Valerio

Corey Valerio

FADE IN:

INT. HARRY HERPSON HIGH SCHOOL - CLASSROOM - DAY

MR. GOLDENFOLD stands in front of the classroom passing out paperwork to each row of students.

MR. GOLDENFOLD

Each of you will be doing a presentation on a different historical figure.

The students pass the papers back. Morty gets his sheet of paper.

INSERT

Morty's paper shows Galileo's name at the top.

BACK TO SCENE

MORTY

Ummm, Mr. Goldenfold, why am I doing a report on Galileo for math class?

MR. GOLDENFOLD

Morty, Galileo is a scientist. And science is math.

A JOCK STUDENT raises his hand.

JOCK STUDENT

Is Aristotle a scientist too?

MR. GOLDENFOLD

Only the greatest scientist of them all.

MORTY

I still don't get why...

MR. GOLDENFOLD

Just do the assignment.

INT. SMITH HOUSE - MORTY'S BEDROOM - DAY

Morty is on his computer. He logs onto the website .com and searches for Galileo.

Morty reads Galileo's page. After a moment Morty looks confused.

INT. SMITH HOUSE - GARAGE - DAY

Morty enters the garage, looks around, and doesn't see Rick.

INT. SMITH HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

Morty enters the kitchen and sees the refrigerator door open - a trail of garbage leading from the fridge to the living room.

INT. SMITH HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Morty finds Rick sprawled out drunk on the couch with trash all around him.

MORTY

Hey Rick. Can I get your help with a report I'm doing for school.

RICK

This isn't a good time, Morty.

MORTY

Everyone is doing a report on a scientist for Math class. I need your help.

RICK

Not now.

MORTY

I was doing some research on Schmikipedia and was getting some pretty conflicting information.

RICK

Please go away Morty.

MORTY

Do you have any books I can borrow on Galileo?

RICK

Galileo? Fuck Galileo!

MORTY

He's a brilliant scientist.

RICK

He's a grade A douche, and the world's biggest pervert.

MORTY

Wait, did you write all that stuff on Schmikipedia?

RICK

I can't have people thinking he's something he's not. People need to know the truth.

MORTY

You can't do that Rick.

RICK

Please go away Morty.

MORTY

I still have a report to do. Are you going to help me or not?

RICK

He's a sexual deviant who invented nothing and is nothing. Boom. Written.

MORTY

No, Rick. The truth.

RICK

That is the truth.

MORTY

I need sources Rick. I can't just make something up and present it to the class.

Rick grunts and rolls off the couch.

MORTY

What are you doing?

RICK

You want proof Morty? I'll give you proof.

MORTY

How?

RICK

Time travel. Ever heard of it?

MORTY

Oh no, I don't want to risk fracturing time again Rick.

RICK

Don't worry, I fixed that.

MORTY

I don't know.

RICK

If it makes you feel any better you can wear your gay little necklace.

Rick pulls out the time collar and hands it to Morty.

MORTY

I don't know Rick.

RICK

Just put it on.

Morty reluctantly puts on the collar. Rick pulls out his portal gun and shoots open a portal.

RICK

Let's go.

(sotto voce)

Pussy.

MORTY

What was that?

Rick walks through portal. Morty follows.

INT. SMITH HOUSE - SUMMER'S ROOM - DAY

SUMMER is lying on her bed listening to punk rock. A dozen buckets of paint of various "flavors" are on the floor next to her bed. Summer takes a rip of a bong, smiles, then picks up a bucket of paint, pops off the top, and starts huffing.

There is a knock at the door.

BETH (O.C.)

Summer? Sweetheart? May we come in?

SUMMER

Just a second.

Summer quickly replaces the top on the bucket and shoves them all under her bed.

SUMMER

Come in.

BETH and JERRY enter the room.

BETH

Hey sweetie. We have a surprise for you.

SUMMER

Surprise?

Beth and Jerry sit down the bed with Summer.

JERRY

A fun family adventure to the Natural Science and History Museum.

SUMMER

Why?

JERRY

Because that's what families do.

SUMMER

Oh, you were serious about that?

BETH

Of course we were, sweetie.

JERRY

(to Beth)

I'll go get Morty.

(kisses Beth on cheek)

I'll meet you in the car?

BETH

Ok honey.

Jerry gets up and leaves the room.

Beth lovingly places her hand on Summer's shoulder.

BETH

This is going to be a great day.

SUMMER

Oh god.

INT. SMITH HOUSE - FOYER - DAY

Jerry walks down the stairs just in time to see Rick and Morty go through the portal in the living room.

Jerry thinks for a second.

INT. JERRY'S CAR - DAY

Jerry gets in the drivers seat of the car. Beth and Summer are already in the car buckled up.

SUMMER

Where's Morty?

JERRY

He's on an adventure with your grandpa Rick.

SUMMER

What?! That's not fair!

JERRY

As long as they're spending time together as family, that's what counts.

SUMMER

Yeah, but at least Rick's adventures can be fun...sometimes.

BETH

Oh, I think you'll find us plenty fun today.

Beth strokes Jerry's ear with her fingers.

JERRY

Beth, stop it. Not in front of the kids.

SUMMER

(to herself)

Fuck you Morty.

EXT. 17TH CENTURY CITY STREET - NIGHT

Rick and Morty walk out of the portal and onto the sidewalk. Morty looks around at his new environment.

The street is lined with 2-story buildings all the way down the block.

MORTY

Where are we?

RICK

1616\. Come on.

Rick stumbles ahead. Morty follows.

MORTY

So, what are the time travel rules? Is it like Back to the Future where we need to take caution because our actions can have irreversible and damaging effects on the future? Or is it like Terminator where nothing matters?

RICK

(annoyed)

Stop asking questions.

Rick stops and looks at the building next to him. A drunk man is passed out in the entryway.

RICK

This is it. Your precious idol.

Look at him. Real piece of work. The "father" of science everybody.

MORTY

That's just a drunk.

Rick takes a closer look.

RICK

What's the difference?

We hear FOOTSTEPS coming down the stairs from inside the building.

MORTY

Should we hide?

RICK

Why?

MORTY

We shouldn't be seen, right? That would be bad, right?

RICK

Ummm, sure.

Morty pushes Rick around the side of the building.

Morty watches as GALILEO comes out the entryway. He has a long beard and is wearing a close-cut padded jacket over a linen shirt with deep cuffs.

Galileo steps over the drunk and walks away down the street.

Morty sticks his head out from the side of the building.

MORTY

Come on.

INT. SEA CAVE - NIGHT

Rick and Morty follow Galileo down a walkway into a sea cave right up against the ocean.

Galileo walks to the end of the walkway and stops at a very sophisticated measuring system half submerged in the water.

Galileo takes out his notebook and jots down the readings from the device.

MORTY

This must be how he tested his theory for the tides.

RICK

He actually thought the tides were caused by the thrashing back and forth of the water in the sea. Reeaaalll great theory there. Thanks "father" of science.

MORTY

We don't have to be right all the time, Rick. Failures are the stepping stones on the path to success.

RICK

Motivational quotes are what idiots use to comfort themselves from the reality that they're idiots.

Morty glares at Rick. Rick shoots open a portal.

RICK

Just get in.

EXT. FORREST - NIGHT

Rick and Morty walk out of the portal and into the woods.

MORTY

Where are we?

RICK

We're in the woods Morty. Now shut up.

In the distance we see Galileo walking down a path in the woods. He is carrying a lantern and has a large sac thrown over his shoulder.

RICK

Let's see what your idol is up to now.

EXT. HILLTOP - NIGHT

The night sky is lit up with thousands of stars. Galileo is in a clearing on a large hilltop gazing at the stars through a telescope.

Rick and Morty are hiding behind some trees at the edge of the clearing.

MORTY

It looks like he's developing his theory on heliocentrism.

RICK

Yeah. To help him rape the universe.

MORTY

You know, I still don't see any evidence!

RICK

Ugh. Stop being an idiot Morty. The evidence is right in front of you.

MORTY

What do you have against Galileo? Huh?

RICK

Because he's a hack Morty! He's not the "father" science. He's a piece of shit who doesn't deserve the recognition he's getting.

Morty just stands there with his arms crossed.

RICK

What?

MORTY

Take me home.

RICK

Morty -

MORTY

I want to go home.

RICK

We got one more Morty. We gotta do one more.

MORTY

I want to go home.

RICK

We gotta do three, Morty. You always gotta do these in three. It feels weird if we do just two. Come on.

Rick shoots open a portal.

MORTY

One more Rick. Then you're taking me home.

RICK

Promise.

INT. MUSEUM - DAY

Jerry and Beth are inspecting a map of the museum. Summer hovers nearby.

JERRY

Where should we go first?

BETH

Wherever you want sweetheart.

JERRY

Summer?

SUMMER

I don't care.

JERRY

We could go to Prehistoric Land. Scientific Kingdom.

(excited)

Mathville!

BETH

They all sound so good.

MAN'S VOICE (O.C.)

How about a tour of the history of biology?

Jerry lowers the map and sees an elderly man, JOHN SHAMMOND (70s), dressed like John Hammond from Jurassic Park.

He reaches out to shake their hands.

JON SHAMMOND (MAN'S VOICE)

Hello. I'm John Shammond. I own this museum.

He shakes Beth and Jerry's hands.

JON SHAMMOND

I've built a state of the art tour of the history of biology. It just opened. And I'd love for you to be the first to take the ride.

He motions towards a door.

JERRY

Heck yes!

Beth and Jerry excited enter. Summer lags behind.

EXT. VATICAN CITY STREET - NIGHT

Rick and Morty walk out of a portal and down the street.

MORTY

What are you gonna show me this time? Is he helping an elderly woman cross the street? Maybe he's helping forge a peace treaty. Or winning the Nobel Prize.

RICK

All good guesses. But no.

Rick walks up to a large fogged over window in an old church. He wipes off the moisture so they can see inside.

INT./EXT. CHURCH - CONTINUOUS

RICK

This is the all the proof you'll need.

Morty peers inside. The POPE sits in a large chair atop some steps. Galileo is presenting a large book to him.

MORTY

Is that the Pope?

RICK

Yep.

MORTY

Didn't the Pope imprison Galileo?

RICK

Juuuusst wait for it.

Galileo walks up the steps and hands the book to the Pope. Time freezes just as the Pope takes the book. A portal opens next to Galileo and Rick walks through.

Morty turns and looks at the Rick standing next to him. Then looks back at the Rick inside.

Alternate Rick walks up to the Pope, pulls out a replica of Galileo's book, and swaps them.

Alternate Rick takes the book and walks back through the portal.

Time restarts.

MORTY

(turns to Rick)

What the hell are you doing?

Rick attempts to remember.

RICK

Hold on. Hold on. It's alllll coming back to me.

MORTY

You framed him?! Why?! Galileo is an important part of our history. He's the father of science!

RICK

You can't be a father to science, Morty! He didn't create it! It's not like he accidentally got a girl pregnant and she birthed out science. It's always existed. You don't call Neil Armstrong the father of the moon just because he was the first one to land on it!

There is a commotion coming from inside the church. Morty turns around to see the Pope's henchmen arresting Galileo.

MORTY

Rick, You have to fix this!

RICK

Morty, you don't know what you're talking about. This is what was meant to happen.

MORTY

No Rick. I'm not falling for your B.S. again.

Through the window we see the henchmen drag Galileo out the front of the church and toss him into a carriage.

RICK

People need to see him for what he is Morty. Otherwise...

MORTY

No Rick. We're changing things back.

Morty lunges at Rick and tackles him to the ground.

RICK

What the hell are you doing?

Morty kicks Rick in the groin, and then wrestles the portal gun away from him.

MORTY

I'm saving the father of science.

Morty shoots open a portal and quickly jumps through.

RICK

(holding his crotch)

Mother Fucker!

INT. HISTORY OF BIOLOGY THEATER - DAY

Jon Shammond guides Beth, Jerry, and Summer into an empty theater. He points to the front row.

JON SHAMMOND

Please, have a seat.

Beth, Jerry, and Summer sit down. Levers lower down onto their laps like an amusement ride.

JERRY

Nice Touch.

JON SHAMMOND

We spared no expense.

Jon switches into his host mode.

JON SHAMMOND

Ladies and Gentlemen. Boys and Girls. I now present to you the History of Biology.

He turns his attention towards the screen at the front of the room. A video pops up of a vast, dense forrest.

A Cartoon DNA FIGURE flies out of the trees and into the middle of the screen.

DNA FIGURE

Have you ever wondered how life began on earth? Well 4 billion years ago...

Summer sits in her seat bored while Jerry and Beth are lovingly engaged in the video.

EXT. FORREST - NIGHT

A small house sits in a clearing on the outskirts of town against the forrest.

In the woods Morty walks out of a portal. He hides behind a tree and spies on the house.

Two henchmen stand guard at the front door.

MORTY

Ok, Morty. What would Rick do? Come on. Think!

A lightbulb goes off. Morty teleports away. A split second later he teleports back with a bottle of alcohol in his hands.

MORTY

Alright, here goes nothing.

Morty pops off the top to the bottle and starts chugging.

He finishes off the bottle and then tosses it aside.

(Beat)

Morty's eyes widen as an idea takes hold.

EXT. GALILEO'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

The two guards stand watch at the front door. Morty appears out of nowhere with a large stick and knocks the first guard out with one swing. Before the other guard can grab his sword, Morty swings the stick again and knocks the guard on the ground.

Morty repeatedly hits the second guard over the head with the stick until he's unconscious.

MORTY

(catching his breath)

Well that was easy.

Morty enters Galileo's house.

INT. GALILEO'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Morty enters and finds Galileo sitting at his desk with a lantern by his side. It's very much an inventors space; messy, with equipment and writings scattered through the room. Galileo notices Morty enter.

GALILEO

Who are you?

The alcohol is hitting Morty hard now.

MORTY

No time to...to...explain. We need to get you out of here.

GALILEO

I can't leave.

MORTY

It's ok. I...I...

(getting sick)

Excuse me.

Morty runs over and grabs a bucket and vomits into it.

Morty places the bucket down.

MORTY

It's ok. I took out the guards. Follow me.

Morty runs to the front door.

GALILEO

I can't leave.

Morty stops and turns.

MORTY

Why not?

Galileo gets up and walks towards Morty.

GALILEO

There is some kind of forcefield around my house preventing me from leaving.

MORTY

Is there some way to turn it off?

GALILEO

There is a device outside generating the forcefield. If you can somehow disable it I'll be free.

MORTY

How do I disable it?

GALILEO

There should be a button.

EXT. GALILEO'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Morty is standing on the side of the house in front of the forcefield generator. There is a large on/off button on the generator.

Morty flips it to off.

MORTY

That was easy.

INT. GALILEO'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Morty rushes into the house.

MORTY

It's disabled. Let's go.

GALILEO

Excellent job, Morty! I am so thankful.

MORTY

Wait. How do you know my name?

RICK (O.C.)

Because he's your distant relative.

Morty turns to see Rick standing in the front doorway.

MORTY

Rick! You're here.

RICK

Yeah. No thanks to you.

MORTY

I did what I had to do Rick. And what do you mean he's my distant relative.

RICK

You know Morty, I'm getting real tired of having to explain everything to you. Do I have to spell it out for you? He's your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather.

MORTY

Whoa.

RICK

And that forcefield was the only thing keeping him from destroying the universe.

MORTY

What?

Galileo grabs the portal gun from Morty and takes him hostage.

GALILEO

Stay back Rick.

MORTY

What's going on?

RICK

Shut up Morty.

(to Galileo)

We both know you aren't going to find it.

MORTY

Find what?

GALILEO

I've already found it.

MORTY

(to Galileo)

Why are you doing this?

RICK

No you haven't.

MORTY

HEY! Will somebody please explain what's going on.

Rick puts his face in his hands.

RICK.

Ugh. God. Galileo is less a scientist and more a sexual pervert whose sole goal in life is to have sex with every species in the known universe.

GALILEO

Don't forget to tell him about the ark.

MORTY

Ark?

RICK

Yes. An ark, that houses two of every species in the universe. Rather than travel from planet to planet he can simply board the ark and have one massive orgy.

MORTY

Ewwww.

RICK

There! Happy Morty? Feel all caught up? Did you enjoy stopping down the progressing narrative for a lazy and dull exposition dump? Do you feel more "engaged" in the story now?

MORTY

Yes. Thank you.

RICK

(to Galileo)

Where were we?

GALILEO

I was saying I know the location of the ark.

RICK

Right.

(gets back into aggressive character)

No you haven't.

GALILEO

Well not yet. But I know you have been there. And I can track the history of your portal gun.

Galileo shoots a portal under his and Morty's feet. They instantly fall through the portal and disappear.

INT. UNDERGROUND TUNNEL - NIGHT

A dimly lit tunnel is illuminated by a single torch perched next to a solid steel door. The SCREAMS of Morty can be heard coming from inside the door.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAIR - NIGHT

Galileo finishes chaining a struggling Morty up to the wall.

MORTY

Let me go!

GALILEO

The moment has come.

Galileo walks over to his work bench and lays down the portal gun.

GALILEO

Years of preparations.

Galileo grabs a tool out of a bucket.

MORTY

What are you doing?

Galileo uses the tool to open the portal gun.

MORTY

Don't do that!

Galileo removes the crystal.

MORTY

God damn it!

Galileo holds up the crystal to the light.

GALILEO

You're about to witness the culmination of all my work. My greatest discovery.

MORTY

(to himself)

I'm never getting home.

Galileo walks over to what looks like a large telescope. He places the crystal inside a small hatch at the bottom, and closes the door.

MORTY

Why do I always fall for the assholes?

Galileo walks over to a switch on the wall.

MORTY

Maybe Rick is right. I am an idiot.

Galileo flips the switch. A faint HUMMING NOISE comes from the telescope. The humming grows louder and louder.

MORTY

What's happening?!

GALILEO

Destiny!

Electricity sparks around the telescope as the humming has now reached a fever pitch. ZAP! A creature falls out of a portal at the base of the telescope as a flash of bright light blinds the room.

Galileo flips the switch. The telescope winds down.

Galileo rushes over to the creature. It sits in the corner covered in goo. The creature begins to move.

GALILEO

It worked.

MORTY

What is it?

GALILEO

A being from another world.

The alien sees Galileo and recoils in fear.

GALILEO

(comforting)

It's ok.

Galileo reaches out his hand.

GALILEO

I'm not going to hurt you.

Galileo stands up tall, hovering over the creature.

GALILEO

I promise.

Galileo rips his clothes off. His chiseled muscles radiate in the light.

INT. UNDERGROUND TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS

Through the steel door the creature lets out a TERRIFIED SCREECH.

INT. HISTORY OF BIOLOGY THEATER - DAY

The theater is slowly moving in front of a large Nursing room. A large pane of glass separating the theater from the nursing room.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Welcome to the nursing station.

There are dozens of eggs in incubation chambers. Machines slowly rotate the eggs. The nurses all wear masks. But you can still tell there is something slightly off about the nurses faces.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

The infertile egg crisis of the late 1800's lead to the creation of modern incubation chambers. Successful hatching rates of children skyrocketed during the ensuing period.

JERRY

I wasn't aware we had a hatching crisis.

Beth leans in close to Jerry.

BETH

You look so cute when you're excited.

SUMMER

Are you sure this is accurate?

Summer looks over to Jon Shammond. He turns to her and we see that he is now part alien. A long tail sticking out the back of his trousers.

JON SHAMMOND

Scientific fact my dear child. We did our research to ensure every detail of this tour is accurate.

Jerry and Beth don't notice Jon has changed.

JERRY

(to Summer)

He spared no expense.

JON SHAMMOND

Let's move on to the next part of the tour.

EXT. MUSEUM PARK - DAY

Jerry, Beth, and Summer follow Jon Shammond down the stairs to a waiting SUV with a glass roof. A track sits underneath the car and leads towards a gigantic door. Beyond the door is a thriving jungle.

Jon Shammond is now slightly more alien than when we last saw him. They approach the car.

JON SHAMMOND

(opening door)

Please get in.

Jerry motions for Beth to enter first.

JERRY

After you my love.

BETH

Why thank you.

Beth enters, followed by Jerry. Summer reluctantly gets in the back.

JON SHAMMOND

Welcome to Biology Park.

The car takes off for the gigantic doors. As they approach, the doors slowly open.

SUMMER

This isn't going to end well.

INT. GALILEO'S LAIR - NIGHT

Galileo stands over the defeated creature as he puts his clothes back on.

MORTY

(to himself)

Rick, if you've gone back in my mind and are seeing this, please erase this from my memory.

Galileo turns and approaches Morty with a lustful grin across his face.

MORTY

Please, Rick! Erase this from my memory!

Galileo reaches out to Morty. Morty closes his eyes and prepares for the worst.

Galileo undoes Morty's chains. He collapses to the floor.

Morty looks up at Galileo.

GALILEO

Run.

Morty runs around the room as Galileo chases him. Galileo corners Morty in the far end of the roo.

Suddenly the door to Galileo's lair is kicked open. Rick stands in the doorway.

RICK

(exasperated)

Get your damn hands off her - errr...him!

Galileo turns around.

GALILEO

Beat it! Walk away!

Rick is still catching his breath.

GALILEO

Are you deaf, Sanchez?! Close the door and beat it!

RICK

No Gally... Ugh... What's the line?

MORTY

(calmly)

You leave him alone.

RICK

Right.

(back into character)

No Gally, you leave him alone!

Galileo hulks over to Rick.

GALILEO

You're asking for it.

Rick throws a punch at Galileo, but Galileo grabs it and twists Rick's arm behind his back.

MORTY

Let him go! You're going to break his arm.

Galileo doesn't listen.

Morty runs over, jumps on Galileos back, and starts hitting him.

MORTY

Leave him alone!

Galileo grabs Morty and throws him across the room into some shelves.

Rick looks over at Morty. They lock eyes. Galileo laughs. Rick forms a fist with his free hand and knocks Galileo out with one solid punch.

Rick rushes over to Morty.

RICK

Are you alright?

MORTY

Yeah. I'll be ok.

Rick helps Morty up.

MORTY

Rick. Could you erase -

RICK

Sure thing buddy. I'll erase this memory when we get home. Now, where is the portal gun?

Morty and Rick turn to look for the Portal gun.

Galileo stands next to the telescope device with the portal gun in his hands. He removes the crystal from the telescope and places it back in the portal gun.

RICK

Don't let him leave!

Rick and Morty run over to Galileo. Galileo smiles, shoots the portal under his feet, and disappears.

MORTY

Where is he going?

RICK

Where do you think Morty? To the ark! We have to stop him.

Rick walks to the other side of the room.

MORTY

How are we going to do that?

Rick stops in front of a painting of Galileo with his shirt off and muscles out.

RICK

I always have a plan B.

Rick swings open the painting revealing a safe. The lock is the same as a standard high school locker.

Rick enters the code but the safe doesn't open.

RICK

Is it twice you go past zero to the first number or -

MORTY

Three times past zero to the left then past the first number once to the right. Then left from the second number straight to the last number.

Rick enters the code. The safe opens.

RICK

Thanks.

Rick pulls out a second portal gun.

MORTY

How did you -

RICK

No time to explain Morty.

Rick shoots open a portal and they jump through.

The portal closes. In the corner, the alien creature spits out a dozen eggs from it's stomach.

EXT. BIOLOGY PARK - NIGHT

The SUV pulls up to a large containment fence that holds back a dense forrest.

INT./EXT. SUV - CONTINUOUS

Summer looks out the window at the containment fence.

SUMMER

I wonder what's in there.

She looks at her parents. They are in the front seat making out.

SUMMER

Seriously?!

We hear a RUMBLE as the ground shakes. Jerry and Beth stop kissing.

JERRY

Did you hear that?

We hear the RUMBLE again. The rear view mirror shakes.

Suddenly the power goes out.

JERRY

What's going on?!

The hear the RUMBLE CLOSER this time. A large creature bursts through the edge of the forest. It's half T-Rex, half human, and half alien.

Beth and Summer both SCREAM.

The creature stomps up to the containment fence and starts ripping through it.

SUMMER

(to Beth)

What do we do?!

BETH

Ok, ok. Stay calm. We'll get out of here.

Beth looks over at the drivers seat where Jerry was sitting. The door is open and Jerry is nowhere to be found.

The creature rips through the final barrier in the fence and steps out behind the SUV.

EXT. BIOLOGY PARK - NIGHT

Beth and Summer are in the SUV flying down the gravel road. The creature right behind them in hot pursuit.

EXT. PLANET ALPHA ALPHA GAMMA NINER FOUR - NIGHT

Rick and Morty portal into a large urban city. The structures are, however, distinctly alien with strange material and buildings that defy the laws of physics.

MORTY

Wow, Where are we?

RICK

Planet Alpha Alpha Gamma Niner Four.

Morty looks at Rick.

RICK

Don't look at me. I don't name these things.

Aliens walk by on the street casually going about their day. Rick heads towards what appears to be the downtown area. Morty follows.

MORTY

So where are we going?

RICK

To find the portal gun.

MORTY

Why? We already have one.

RICK

And he has my portal gun. Which means he can look at its history log.

MORTY

So he can just look at the history log and find the location of the ark?

RICK

Not exactly. I planned for just such an occasion. As a protection contingency I left a trail of portal guns in different dimensions, using each one only once to travel dimensions.

Rick looks at a slightly confused Morty.

RICK

Am I making any sense? You getting this?

MORTY

Yyyyeesss. I think so. So all we have to do is find the portal gun in this dimension and he can't get to the ark.

RICK

Right.

MORTY

So where did you hide it?

RICK

The safest place you can keep something that valuable...with a stripper.

EXT. FLAPPY JACK'S STRIP CLUB - NIGHT

The club is a hole in the wall at the end of a dark alley.

Rick shows his ID to the ALIEN BOUNCER. Rick walks in. Morty tries to follow but is stopped by the bouncer.

RICK

It's ok. He's with me.

The bouncer lets him in.

INT. FLAPPY JACK'S STRIP CLUB - NIGHT

On stage an alien stripper slithers up and down the pole.

MORTY

This is the safest place to store your portal gun?

RICK

Don't underestimate strippers Morty. They're very reliable. They'll do anything for money.

A STRIPPER runs up to Rick.

STRIPPER

Rick!

She kisses Rick on the cheek.

STRIPPER

Been a long time baby.

RICK

Too long.

STRIPPER

(notices Morty)

Who's this?

RICK

My grandson.

STRIPPER

You want me to-

RICK

(interrupting)

No no no no. Not yet anyways. Can we go somewhere private?

STRIPPER

Right this way.

INT. FLAPPY JACK'S - PRIVATE ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Rick is sitting in a chair getting a lap dance from the stripper. Morty stands in the corner unsure of how he should be feeling.

STRIPPER

Mmmmm, I missed you baby.

She slithers up and around Rick. He enjoys it a little too much.

MORTY

Can you focus Rick.

RICK

Right.

(to Stripper)

Hey, I need to get my portal gun back.

STRIPPER

Portal gun?

RICK

Right. Sorry. Forgot.

Rick reaches into his pocket, pulls out his billfold, takes out some cash, and hands it to the stripper.

STRIPPER

Why you need it? You leaving me already.

She slithers herself around Rick.

RICK

It's important. I just need to get it back.

STRIPPER

I don't know.

Rick hands her more cash.

STRIPPER

It's at my storage unit, Fill our hole storage inc. It's five blocks down Glarp Glarp lane on the left.

She takes a phone from out of a fold in her body.

STRIPPER

(typing into phone)

It's unit 403. I'm gonna set a temporary code for you to access the unit.

EXT. FILL OUR HOLE STORAGE - NIGHT

Rick and Morty walk down the row of storage units.

MORTY

Unit 403... Unit 403...

They approach the unit and notice the lock on the unit is broken open. They lift open the door.

INT. FILL OUR HOLE STORAGE - UNIT 403 - CONTINUOUS

Light floods into the dark unit. Galileo stands in the back corner. He turns around. Both portal guns in his hand.

Galileo drops the old portal gun and shoots open a portal with the new one.

Rick and Morty try to stop him. Galileo jumps through the portal and disappears before they can get there.

MORTY

Where did he go?

RICK

I don't know.

MORTY

What do you mean you don't know.

RICK

I mean I don't know, Morty. I left a trail of portal guns for a reason. Because I don't know.

MORTY

How many dimensions does he have to get through to find the ark?

RICK

I don't know... a dozen.

MORTY

God damn it Rick. Do you know where the final dimension is so we can just beat him there?

RICK

Yes... No... I think so.

MORTY

Well what is it?

RICK

I think so.

Rick shoots open a portal.

RICK

Guess we'll find out.

They jump through the portal.

INT. BIOLOGY PARK WELCOME CENTER - DAY

Beth and Summer rush through the front doors, slam them shut, and lock them. We can hear the creature roaring outside.

SUMMER

Oh my god! What the hell was that?!

BETH

I don't know, but we need to find a phone and get the hell out of here.

Beth and Summer run off.

INT. BIOLOGY PARK WELCOME CENTER - CAFETERIA - DAY

Beth and Summer enter the cafeteria and flick on the lights. They're startled by Jerry sitting at a buffet table chowing down.

JERRY

Beth! Summer!

Jerry gets up to greet them.

BETH

Why did you just run off!

JERRY

I thought you were right behind me.

SUMMER

Well we weren't. You abandoned us.

JERRY

Well that's not my fault, I...

Jerry freezes. Beth and Summer are confused.

BETH

Jerry?

Jerry's eyes are fixated behind them. They turn around to see a glass mosaic wall with drawings of raptor/alien creatures etched on it. Two shadows in the same shape of the raptors creep along behind the mosaic.

Beth and Summer turn back around to find Jerry running away. They chase after him.

EXT. QUEEFITER - QUEEF QUEENS STRIP JOING - DAY

Rick and Morty portal in front of the Queef Queens strip joint. They run inside. We hear SOUNDS OF VARIOUS RANGES OF QUEEFS.

RICK (O.C.)

No.

EXT. PENUS - FLAPPY TATTERSONS STRIP JOINT - NIGHT

Rick and Morty portal in front of the Flappy Tattersons strip joint. They run inside. We hear SOUNDS OF FLAPS SLAPPING AND CLAPPING TOGETHER.

RICK (O.C.)

Nope.

EXT. YOUR ANUS - PUFFY FLUFFINGTONS STRIP JOINT - NIGHT

Rick and Morty portal in front of Puffy Fluffingtons strip joint. They run inside. We hear SOUNDS OF PUFFIES BEING FLUFFED.

RICK (O.C.)

Definitely not.

INT. BIOLOGY PARK WELCOME CENTER - CONTROL ROOM - DAY

Jerry bursts through the control room door, slams it behind him, and braces up against it. Beth and Summer pound on the outside of the door.

BETH AND SUMMER

Let us in!

Jerry opens the door. Beth and Summer enter. Jerry quickly shuts the door behind them.

BETH

You have got to stop doing that!

JERRY

I'm sorry. It's instinct.

Jerry tries to lock the door. The lock won't budge.

JERRY

What's wrong with this thing.

Jerry tries to force the lock closed.

JERRY

Can you guys help me?

Jerry looks up through the glass in the door. The creature is standing on the other side. The handle on the door turns.

Jerry lunges to the ground and braces himself up against the door.

JERRY

Help!

Beth rushes over to help Jerry as the creature tries to open the door.

Summer stands there watching.

SUMMER

What do I do?

BETH

The computer over there.

(motions behind Summer)

Reset the system and lock the doors.

Summer turns around to see the computer. Then turns back to Beth.

SUMMER

What part of this...

(points to herself)

makes you think I know anything about computers?!

Jerry starts loosing his grip.

JERRY

It's not gonna hold.

BETH

Yes it will.

JERRY

Nope.

Jerry gets up and sprints away. The door flings open pinning Beth between the door and the wall.

The creature bursts into the room and chases after Jerry.

Jerry runs up a tall ladder conveniently located in the middle of the room. Jerry hops into the ceiling grate and then kicks the ladder down.

The creature looks up at Jerry. Jerry quickly crawls away.

The creature turns its attention to Beth and Summer. Both are now standing next to each other in front of the control room door.

INT. BIOLOGY PARK WELCOME CENTER - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

Beth and Summer run down the hall as the creature chases after them.

MULTI-DIMENSIONAL STRIP JOINTS - MONTAGE

A) EXT. FLAM JAM'S STRIP JOINT - NIGHT

Rick and Morty run out of a portal and into the strip joint. Moments later they run back out, and portal to another dimension.

B) EXT. NAKED WOMEN CLUB - NIGHT

Rick and Morty exit the strip joint with erections poking through their pants. Both play it cool like nothing happened.

C) EXT. GLOB DROB FLOB - NIGHT

Rick and Morty get thrown out of the strip joint by the bouncers.

D) EXT. TWIT TWAT FLICK - NIGHT

Morty pushes Rick out the front door of the strip joint. Rick desperately wants to go back inside.

E) EXT. DOLLOP OF VAGINAS - NIGHT

Rick pushes Morty out the front door of the strip joint. Morty desperately wants to go back inside.

F) EXT. SCHWETTY SAUCE - NIGHT

Rick and Morty exit the strip joint holding drinks. They clink their shot glasses together and drunkenly down some lime green liquid.

G) EXT. HARD THROBBING PENIS - NIGHT

Rick and Morty exit the strip club and rush to the nearest trash can and vomit into it. Morty doesn't make it and vomits on himself.

H) EXT. GLARP GLARP NINE - HARRY PETES - NIGHT

Rick and Morty drop through a portal and collapse on the ground. They struggle to get up, and ultimately drag themselves into the strip joint.

INT. HARRY PETES - NIGHT

Rick helps pick Morty up off the floor. Rick and Morty look out at the floor. The strip club is booming. All kinds of alien creatures fill the room. Some humans wander about as well.

A gelatinous ball rolls up to Rick then reforms into the shape of a pair of large breasts.

BREASTS

Rick, I thought I'd never see you again.

She gives Rick a hug by wrapping each breast around him.

BREASTS

What brings you around these parts.

RICK

We're looking for tear...ark...thing.

BREASTS

You must have had too much to drink again.

She reforms into a gelatinous ball.

BREASTS

Come honey.

EXT. HARRY PETES - NIGHT

The gelatinous ball rolls out to the sidewalk with Rick and Morty then reforms into the large breasts.

She points her nipples to the sky.

BREASTS

Hard to miss.

Rick and Morty look up and see the large tear in the sky in the shape of a vagina. Through the tear you can see a gigantic ship in the shape of Noah's ark.

MORTY

Is that it?

RICK

Were you expecting something bigger?

BREASTS

Don't forget to stop by before you head out.

She turns back into the ball and rolls inside.

MORTY

How do we get up there?

RICK

I built a special ship that can withstand the g-force - no pun intended - to travel through the dimensional rip.

MORTY

And where is that?

RICK

(pointing towards downtown area)

Somewhere that way.

MORTY

Oh geez. Come on.

INT. BIOLOGY PARK WELCOME CENTER - DAY

Beth and Summer cling to the back of the T-Rex/alien skeleton hanging in the entrance to the welcome center.

Below them is the raptor/alien creature attempting to lunge up and eat them. Beth and Summer SCREAM.

INT. VENTILATION SYSTEM - CONTINUOUS

Jerry hears the screams as he crawls through the ventilation system. He approaches a grate and peers through. He sees Beth and Summer on the skeleton below.

INT. BIOLOGY PARK WELCOME CENTER - CONTINUOUS

JERRY (O.C.)

Beth, Summer. You guys are alright!

BETH

Do we look alright to you?!

JERRY (O.C.)

Well you're alive.

SUMMER

Do something!

The creature jumps up and hits the skeleton. Beth and Summer nearly lose their grip. They SCREAM again.

INT. VENTILATION SYSTEM - CONTINUOUS

Jerry closes his eyes.

JERRY

Come on Jerry. You can do this. Your family needs you. Be the man you know you are deep inside.

Jerry takes a deep breath and opens his eyes.

INT. BIOLOGY PARK WELCOME CENTER - CONTINUOUS

Jerry breaks open the grate of the ventilation system and jumps down onto the upper level of welcome center.

JERRY

(to Raptor)

Hey! Leave them alone!

The raptor stops jumping up to eat Beth and Summer and turns its focus to Jerry. The raptor runs up the stairs.

Jerry realizes his mistake and positions himself to jump out onto the skeleton with Beth and Summer.

BETH AND SUMMER

No, no, no!

Jerry jumps out onto the skeleton with Beth and Summer.

BETH

Oh this is much better.

EXT. GLARP GLARP NINE - CITY PARK - NIGHT

Rick and Morty are searching the park for the ship.

RICK

Should be around here somewhere.

MORTY

What's it look like?

RICK

A penis.

MORTY

What?

RICK

It's in the shape of a penis.

MORTY

Gross.

RICK

Don't judge me Morty. A penis is the most durable shape in the universe. It's uniquely designed to withstand abuse and is the only thing that can handle that kind of g-force. No pun intended.

Morty turns away disgusted and continues to search. Straight in front of Morty he notices the tip of a penis pointing out above a large rock.

MORTY

Rick, is that it?

Rick turns and sees the tip of the penis.

RICK

Yes. Good eye Morty.

Rick and Morty run around the large rock and see the Penis ship in all it's glory and anatomically correct design; veins and all.

MORTY

Did you have to be so detailed?

RICK

The details are what matter Morty.

A portal appears next to the ship. Galileo walks out. He sees Rick and Morty.

RICK

Stop him!

Rick and Morty rush to stop Galileo, but he jumps into the ship and locks it behind him.

GALILEO

I've waited too long for this moment.

Galileo looks down and sees a large "Start" button with a sign next to it that reads "Push Me." He pushes the button.

A restraint suit instantly pops up and wraps around Galileo.

A video pops up on the ship monitor. It's Rick dancing and singing.

MONITOR RICK

Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you.

GALILEO

What's going on?

RICK

You just got rickrolled baby! Haha!

The video keeps playing of Rick singing Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up in the background.

GALILEO

Rickrolled?

RICK

There is no ark. That's a prison you idiot. You just got rickrolled, baby!

(breaking 4th wall)

How have we never done this before? We're in the 4th season already. It's way overdue.

Rick starts singing along to his song.

RICK

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

(to Galileo)

Asta la vista baby!

The penis ship ignites and shoots Galileo up and through the vagina tear in the sky.

Rick is still dancing to the tune in his head. Morty looks confused.

MORTY

Did you know about this the whole time?

RICK

Of course I did.

MORTY

And you didn't let me know?! You know Rick, you really need to include me in on this kind of information. I was having a panic attack for a minute there.

RICK

Everything's fine Morty. You need to learn to grow a pair.

Rick shoots open a portal and they both jump through.

EXT. SMITH HOUSE - DAY

Rick and Morty portal back in front of their house. But things aren't quite normal.

Alien/human mutants roam the streets

RICK

Hmmm...

INT. BIOLOGY PARK WELCOME CENTER - DAY

Beth, Summer, and Jerry are all still clinging to the T-Rex skeleton. The raptor is on the top level trying to find a way to get them.

The raptor then jumps out onto the skeleton.

The skeleton buckles under the weight and comes crashing down.

Jerry removes the clutter from on top of him and sees a clear path to the front doors. He makes a break for it, but the raptor cuts him off and hisses at him. Jerry turns and runs the other way.

Beth helps Summer up off the floor. Jerry runs past them to another exit. A second Raptor bursts through the doors and hisses at Jerry. Jerry turns around, runs up, and hides behind Beth and Summer. The two raptors slowly close in on their prey.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAIR - NIGHT

Rick and Morty portal into Galileo's Lair. It's dark and musty. Dozens of eggs are spread out across the floor. The impregnated creature is in the corner of the room. Reminiscent of the Queen in Aliens.

RICK

(points)

Hand me that flame thrower.

On the table next to them sits a flame thrower. Morty picks it up and hands it to Rick.

MORTY

Ugh, has that always been there?

RICK

Stand back Morty.

Rick ignites the flamethrower and torches all the eggs. The alien lets out an AGONIZING SCREECH.

Rick drops the flame thrower and shoots open a portal. Morty jumps through. Rick shoots the screeching alien in the head and then jumps through the portal.

INT. BIOLOGY PARK WELCOME CENTER - NIGHT

The raptors close in on Beth, Summer, and Jerry. Jerry is cowering behind Beth and Summer. They all close their eyes as the raptors prepare to attack.

POOF

Beth and Summer open their eyes. The raptors are gone. Jerry is still cowering with his eyes closed.

Beth and Summer hug. Jerry opens his eyes.

JERRY

They're gone.

Jerry gets up and turns to Beth looking for a warm embrace. Beth and Summer are glaring at him.

JERRY

What?

EXT. SMITH HOUSE - DAY

Jerry stands outside the house with boxes of his stuff scattered on the front yard. Beth slams the front door shut.

JERRY

Are you sure you don't want to talk about this?

INT. SMITH HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Rick and Morty portal into the living room. Morty immediately takes off his Time Collar and throws it on the ground.

MORTY

This is great. Just great, Rick. What am I suppose to do now? I have to give my report tomorrow. I can't write that about Galileo.

RICK

Not my problem. Excuse me...

Rick pushes Morty aside clearing a path to the couch.

RICK

I have some unfinished business to attend to.

Rick lays back down on the couch exactly as he was laying when Morty first found him on the couch.

INT. HARRY HERPSON HIGH SCHOOL - CLASSROOM - DAY

Mr. Goldenfold stands at the front of the classroom.

MR. GOLDENFOLD

And up next is Morty and his report on Galileo.

(looks at Morty)

Morty.

Morty takes a deep breath and gets up and walks to the front of the room. Mr. Goldenfold sits down at his desk, opens a drawer, and pulls out a paper bag and a plate.

MR. GOLDENFOLD

I didn't get to eat breakfast this morning so I hope you don't mind if I grab a little bite to eat during the presentation.

Mr. Goldenfold reaches into the paper bag, pulls out a turd, and puts it on the plate. He takes a knife and fork and cuts it up into manageable pieces to eat.

Morty stands at the front of the class with his report in front of him. He looks out at the students.

Mr. Goldenfold takes a bite from his plate, thoroughly savoring the flavors.

Morty stalls as he tries to decide what to do.

MORTY

Ummm...

Morty splits into two separate timelines.

BOTH MORTYS

Oh crap.

THE END


End file.
